A reason

Things have been pretty rough on me. Things which I would never expect to happen. We’re still attached but I suppose it’s not a good environment for either me or him. Ups and downs in a relationship, I call it. I don’t think I’m strong enough to stand up for myself. We are both drown with the fact that we are here.

Life is unfair. I have to disagree about life is balance. Perhaps it’s just me, but life has done me no good this week. I ought to have happiness. I ought to have a perfect day. None. I had none. It can be a perfect morning and ended as disastrous afternoon. I feel so miserable, lost and empty. I want to be shaken up, awaken by the reality. If for now I can pretend, what’s of the days to come?

I love him deeply. I only need an opportunity to make him happy for the sake of returning his love. I’m still holding on to life. Truth is, I don’t know how far can I go with this miserable place. He deserved to have a smile lit up on his face. He deserved everything I can possibly give.

I want a reason to keep believing.

I just need a reason. ONE reason.

I don’t want to be crushed anymore.