Whole Lotta Love

A note to you

The earlier days of this relationship, I remembered you singing “Endless Love” to me over the phone. One of the songs that I enjoy listening to over and over again. No one knew of our relationship status, you being single for the past two years and I was on my way to recover myself from past relationship. I was going rough times, trying to forget the misery I had over the relationship. I ask myself, how true can love be? And with no hope shining upon me, I gave up on love.

I never had good impression on you during our first few face-to-face. You were beyond arrogant, crazily mad and too bad, charmless. The key thing is, I wasn’t even interested in you. I see boys as JUST the inhabitants of this colossal earth. A twist came about, you called me to check on my medical reports. I was sleeping, wasn’t paying my attention and forgotten about you completely. Somehow later (few weeks later!), I remembered you took concern upon me and I got your number to thank you. Seriously, that was just it. A thank you. I have no idea how it developed into a love affair.

“Do you like me?” 

The absurdly straightforward question ever. I was being honest then, telling you that I like you as a friend only. No more, no less. That was when I thought you have a slight likeable character in you. Cross out snobbish, arrogant and mad. Oh I discovered how hopelessly sentimental are you. ‘Yesterday’ by The Beatles is sentimental. Such an oldies ears you had in those times. Yes, you were so sentimental, playful and an Oscar actor.

I decided to accept love again with you. I have this intuition that you are going to make me happier than my previous relationship. I don’t expect much because if it fails me, I’ll be right doomed. No one seemed to realise that we were together, just a few important people. We secretly meet up in our secret place and went out to further shopping mall just to have proper dates and all. Those was the good times I think. No conflicts, no misunderstandings – just being us who are so madly in love with each other.

A new year unfold. Both of us wanted to come clean with our relationship status. We went out public together, had lunch and dinner in the cafeteria and did almost everything together. Up till now, I have no idea of how others perceive this relationship. I can’t expect everyone to like it, I reckon. This relationship grew with us over the semester. We finished our semester together, can you believe that? That was when I realise we were getting tangled with complications within this relationship. There were too much even to mention. I never knew how were you able to handle it. Because I can’t.

Pressure starts to fill in, I couldn’t breathe properly and start having a normal day. I had regrets at one point of this relationship. I overcame it, telling myself you’ll bring happiness to me. You are an awesome person but the difference we have are just too huge to be ignored. I wanted to get rid of it because all I ever wanted is to be with you. We couldn’t get along with each other at all for an entire month. We contradicted each other just to get each other’s attention. It was stupid, really stupid.

Above all this,

I feel genuinely happy when things are right. I set out rules for you, no intention to tie you down but just to eliminate these boundaries between us. I don’t know whether you figure that out yet by now. No matter how many times I check on your messages (YES, obsessive), deep down I know the depths of my trust in you. You spare your times with me even though you are engaged in serious matter. Sometimes, I do feel like a cat being pampered all the time. JSYK, I AM one spoiled brat and you deserve this respect for being able to handle me with care. 

THANK YOU for keeping up with my paces.
THANK YOU for being my friend, best friend and more than that when I need you.
THANK YOU for the countless blessings and love you pour on me.
THANK YOU for making me laugh each day with your humor.
THANK YOU for crying along with me over the phone.

It takes courage for a person to do all this for the name of LOVE.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY,

love.